The Proposal: Autobiographical

    Some of you may not believe me, but I loved him before we even started dating.  We were acquaintances first, as is the typical pattern.  Introduced through mutual acquaintances, I paid him very little attention.  Years past and we became friends, going out to group dinners and attending events in large groups.  As we started spending more time together I remember thinking to myself, “he better not fall for me”.  Yet it was me who fell first, head over heals for this sensitive, tall-dark-and-handsome man.  We started dating and I like to think I kept my cool pretty well, making him chase me, and “woo” me to himself.

    A few years in and we started talking seriously about marriage, even looking at wedding rings and talking about plans for the future.  In hindsight, I think we started looking at rings much too early because the proposal seemed to be drastically delayed by the time the day actually arrived.  This was torture for me, a planner by nature, as I was madly in love and couldn’t wait for him to “put a ring on it”.  What made it even harder was how special he could make a regular date.  Ordinarily this would be a huge bonus to any romantic relationship, however here I kept waiting for the ring at the end of a lovely evening and was left empty handed.  It seemed each passing date was the prelude to a proposal, yet none came. 

    One such date was a day trip to San Francisco, a 2 hour drive for us at the time.  While we would venture down to the bay frequently, this trip seemed slightly more intentional than most.  The early morning air was crisp and cool as he picked me up, Starbucks in hand.  We cruised into the city and found ourselves at a go-cart rental shop; I thought on a whim, only to find out that he had reserved a cart.  All day, whisking around the beautiful city on our own personal site-seeing excursion, it seemed wedding bells could be heard around each winding corner.  I must have been a sight, scanning his expression and pockets each time we paused at an ocean vista to take in the view, suspicious for the entire day as I looked for a diamond that just wasn’t there.

    I should have known, he had something bigger planned.  Something like Bodega Bay.  Also a few hours drive from our homes in the valley, he had planned another romantic day trip.  We drove along the coast line for awhile, stopping to get a kite and take some photos.  Running up and down the sandy beach trying to get our kite to take flight sure wore us out and the coffee seemed to wear off early that day.  We parked at a scenic look out point and opted to take a short nap before finding some lunch.  I woke about 30 minutes later to find the car empty.  Venturing out to find him, we meet up at the cliffs edge and I glance down to see “Marry Me?” scrolled in the sand below.  Of course, I thought, he wrote it for me, and chuckled to myself at how casually we walked along the cliff to spot such an important message.  I look back at him in utter surprise at such a memorable proposal, pausing just long enough to see his confusion melt into shock as he mumbled an awkward “uhh, no, that’s not...”.  It wasn’t for me!  Some other schmuck had written it for his mate and in their exuberant excitement neglected to erase it before moving on from the beach.  How horrifyingly embarrassing as I worked to hid my disappointment.

    The day finally came when I least expected it.  Running late from oversleeping I was a bit of a mess, hair air-drying as I raced to the car.  I was to meet him at his house in 10 minutes and there was no way to get there in time!  I was pleasantly surprised to find the beginnings of a scavenger hunt, the first clue on my car window, indirectly directing me to our favorite Starbucks shop where the barista offered another clue and a pre-ordered drink.  It was here that I dared myself to think “perhaps this was the day?”, yet I brushed the thought aside to protect a wonderful date if it just so happened this was not the day he got down on one knee.  The next clue led me to a bookstore, with a cipher and a book of love poems directing me to a lake-front restaurant for a heartfelt, tear-shedding proposal before spending the rest of the day in wine country.  It was on the way to the lake that I began to accept the reality that this was the proposal day.  Overjoyed I started fixing my hair and makeup, and wishing I had worn a cuter shirt.  All these thoughts faded away when I saw him on that pier; his hand holding a rose and eyes holding my gaze.  Needless to say, I said yes!  It was perfect and everything I had hoped for, a wonderful memory and marker for the life that we have built together.  And now, some three years later, I wouldn’t change any of it.